I know what it is to live entirely for and with what I love best on earth.-Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Mona's Musings

December 16th, 2010

Forever Backwards Forever Forwards Forever Now

A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition. ~Clare Whiting


Dear Man I Married,

Remember that quote and our discussion about how true it is? How every kiss holds the years? How we share every sorrow, every joy, every momentous occasion, and every tiny hour through a kiss?

Last night I pointed out the clock approaching midnight and said, “Come on – tomorrow’s our anniversary. we gotta get to bed before midnight — or we might turn into -”


Your guess sounded hopeful. I suppose it might be fun to be eighteen with you again. To have big dreams and small bodies. But I wouldn’t want to start from scratch, would you? What about that day we chucked every responsibility and walked through downtown Provo in the rain? Would we lose that if we turned back the clock? What about birth days, would they still be there? all four of the ones WE put on the human calendar? How about the day the neurologist told us we had a child with severe lifetime disabilities? or the day we qualified for our first house? or the one when we sat in the car holding an acceptance letter from HTE after months of unemployment and cried? Would we still have those and thousands of others equally ordinary and equally poignant?

Let’s stay fifty-one and fifty-two (did I get it right? I’ll catch up with you next month and promptly forget again how old I am.) Let’s stay silver and let’s stay pudgy and let’s stay crinkled and soft in the heart. I know we can’t swing dance the way we used to, and I know I’ll never watch you play ball from the bleachers again, but at least now we can afford to go the Barbican in London to see the “Messiah” on our anniversary and not worry if the babysitter needs to be home at a certain hour or if the car will turn on in the morning. At least now we have these gorgeous, accomplished people who are multiplying and making something of themselves, instead of getting caught between our legs and demanding to be picked up. At least now that life has slowed down we can sleep in and stay up late and…

Hey! It’s our anniversary! Seven hours into it and you are still asleep! Time is getting away! – remember that doctor’s appointment this morning, and the vacuuming still to be done and the packing before we fly home tomorrow and that darn last Christmas present to be shopped for. Are you sure you’re up to the concert tonight? After all, you just had shoulder surgery eleven days ago. I know, I know, nothing will keep you from sitting in the seat you bought last spring. And nothing will keep me from sitting beside you.

Which reminds me…remember the day  thirty-three years ago when we sat in a little yellow car that sputtered when you turned it on and you turned to me and said, “ready?” and I nodded and we drove away and everyone waved and cried and – did they throw rice? I can’t remember.

Maybe if you kiss me…it will all come back.

Happy Anniversary my darling.

Hint of Romance

Anniversaries: count them and make them count.

What did you think of this musing?

Join the discussion!


  1. Emily says:

    Anniversaries are on my mind this time of year (our 7th is Monday) which makes the holiday season that much more special. You aren’t old enough to be celebrating 33 years, but then I’ll be in that exact same boat in 26 years so who am I to talk?

    A little anniversary present…

    “As a husband and wife are each drawn to the Lord, as they learn to serve and cherish one another, as they share life experiences and grow together and become one, and as they are blessed through the uniting of their distinctive natures, they begin to realize the fulfillment that our Heavenly Father desires for His children. Ultimate happiness, which is the very object of the Father’s plan, is received through the making and honoring of eternal marriage covenants.”
    -David A. Bednar

    • mona says:

      Em, What a beautiful quote! Thank you! And wouldn’t you say it’s the curly hair that keeps a gal looking like a toddler? So our “Messiah” is a little different than the one you’re seeing Saturday night:

  2. Grant Z says:

    Mom, we are so glad for this time you guys get together! You’ve always been there for us, and now we want you to live it up! Thank you for your love and adoration for one another. Nothing has been more of blessing to us! Every one of your children is blessed today because of the love expressed so beautifully in this post. Can’t wait to see you in 2 days!

    • Bri Z says:

      Thank you for being amazing pillars of romance! We are so grateful for your love for one another. It serves as a blessing to us in many more ways than just its example. Your romance is rain and sunshine to so many others around you. We cannot wait to wrap our arms around you both once more and bask in the warmth of your love. Happy 33rd Anniversary!

  3. Cindy says:

    Ramona, you are amazing! Thanks for sharing your beautiful, thought-provoking writing with us. Happy Anniversary to you and Dale! Have a wonderfully merry Christmas!

  4. Sharon says:

    Well, you have out done yourself with this marvelous story of life in a nutshell and your love for each other. This is the best post of all. Thank you to each of you for being you, the best example of everything, love, adoration for each other and your children, oneness, appreciation of the wonderful gift of love that you share and I can’t list the million ways you touch me. And Happy, Happy Anniversary and what a profound blessing that you will carry this love and this companionship for all of eternity! I love you both.

  5. Belinda says:

    Just wanted to wish the two most inspirational people a most Happy Anniversary and I know that there will be many more. Dale, I wish you a speedy recovery and Mona, I’m going to miss you whilst you’re away. I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and the most Happiest of New Years.

  6. renee says:

    Sweet Friend and her wonderful man…..
    CELEBRATE! How very wonderful for both of you and of course beautifully shared as always.
    Continued health and healing for Dale and joy to you! Smiles and hugs from the land downunder….

  7. mona says:

    Thank you for all your wishes and good thoughts my dear friends. Many lovely responses have come by email. I just hafta share this one:

    “Hello you two! I enjoyed your Anniversary Musings. They certainly made me stop and think and remember. This Christmas Eve Peggy and I will celebrate our 51st Wedding Anniversary. If you think the last 30 years went by fast for you two, you will be shocked how quickly the next 20 years will go by. However, looking back, these last 20 years have been the best by far. All eight of the kids are grown, on their own and doing great. Of the five that are married we have 23 marvelous grandchildren and Peggy and I have served 4 two year Missions together, two of them in South America. We found on our first Mission to Cochabamba, Bolivia that in spending 24 hours a day together with no other responsibilities but to do our Savior’s work, we fell in love all over again.
    Anyway, keep up the good work, your musings have touched the hearts of many and I am sure Father in heaven is, and will continue to watch over you for your goodness.”
    Love, Dewey & Peggy

  8. Heidi says:

    That was so sweet. My parents’ anniversary is also in December, so it’s a happy month for me to reflect on years of a marriage that has made me happy to watch and learn from.

    Happy Anniversary to you as well!

  9. maritza Ardila- Perez says:

    The blessing as couple : Are to be good friends , to take care of each of one and to learn together. The experience of 33 years will help you to grow in married. Together for ever is a great blessing for a couple as you follow the great spirit of married to love one another, ” Jesus told as to love one another”. You married has been successful. Happy aniversarie. xxx

  10. Hi-My name is Heidi and I’m wondering if you are the same Mona that knew my dad back in high-school? His name is Brent Kohler. Anyway-he apparently found your blog and he told me that it made him think of me! He said that we are a lot alike. (Hoping this is the right Ramona or this note might seem kind of funny!) At any rate, whether you are the same person or not, I absolutely loved reading you entry about your anniversary. It was an inspiration to a young mom! My husband is in the Navy and we dream of days when we will actually get to see each other! It’s nice to read things from your perspective. It’s like a bird’s eye view of life when sometimes all I can see are dishes piling up and cheerios spilled all over the floor-so thank you. I can’t wait to read more!

  11. Valerie M. says:

    You are such a romantic! I love, love your thoughts. I hope you had a wonderful, blissful anniversary, making even more wonderful memories. I hope someday to have a relationship like yours!

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