I know what it is to live entirely for and with what I love best on earth.-Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Mona's Musings

April 30th, 2010

My Hero

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“…give me a man that we may fight together….”

My honey is celebrating without me.  Birthday parties on opposite hemispheres don’t work very well. Lovely for us, his best- cousin- Scott, who lives in London, is taking him to dinner for me. I wish I could be there. He deserves so much more than a night on the town; he deserves a ticker-tape parade.

Over a month ago now, my man squared off with a giant.

He spent weeks preparing for an intense immersion course for a professional certification which encompassed a vast amount of highly technical knowledge. The fact that those who pass the six-hour test have spent their entire educations and careers in the field, while he is relatively new to that body of knowledge, stacked the odds hugely against him. But, like biblical David, he took his shot.

I watched the whole process with ache and awe; truly something for a wife to behold:  her man determined and magnificent. It was also heartrending to see the aftereffects; the weight of the commitment and the pressure of investment and the uncertainty of success doing their best to bully his hopes and dreams.

I did all I could to distract, reassure, and build him up as the weeks passed without word of the results. It’s not the first time he’s tried to take a mountain down and I knew, based on experience and chemistry, that my faith in him would mysteriously contribute to the outcome. When he dropped his slingshot, I picked it up and tucked it back in his belt.

A few days ago, he burst into the room breathless. He shoved the screen of his smart phone in my face. There it was. The long awaited email with his score. I wrapped my arms around him and we wept.

My man had slayed his Goliath, the way Heroes–when their women believe in them–always, always do.

(Music from “Light of the World: A Celebration of Life”. Quote from 1 Samuel 17:10.)

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Official London forecast: Dale’s in London doing the Corporate Hokey Pokey:…”You put your assignment agreement in…you pull your assignment agreement out….you do the HR dance and you turn yourself about….you wait for the visa and the work permit to come through…that’s what it’s all about!’ ……WHILST (Brit talk), back in America, I am singing: “Where oh where has my little flat gone? where oh where can it be? it’s still on-line, but they say it’s ‘let out’! Oh where oh where can it be?”

THIS WEEK’S REAL ROMANCE
Dustin & Amber
April 28, 2006

Don’t miss>”Something’s ___ing

Hint of Romance

Most men crave admiration the way women hunger for love. Fill him with your sincere esteem and real respect and you will have more romance than you know what to do with.

What did you think of this musing?

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Discussion

  1. Sarah says:

    What a BEAUTIFUL post!
    Love the couple spot light too! Great feature!

  2. Sara Lyn says:

    My husband is my hero, too. I so admire the way he works so many hours and then comes home and spoils me. He does many things he is uncomfortable with by personality for the good of our family. I can go on and on. What a man! Thank you for another wonderful post.

    • mona says:

      Sara Lyn: Your marriage is so lovely Sara Lyn. What a blessing to us. Every shiny marriage is a blessing to the whole world.

  3. Heidi says:

    Very sweet post. And I love that I know the spotlight couple!

  4. Rebecca Webb says:

    Thanks Mona. I have to admit, at the end of a long day with little kids, it takes more than what is left in me to be that kind of women to my husband sometimes. I wish the energy came more freely.

    • mona says:

      Rebecca: Poor thing. You remind me of those days with little people running between my legs. It’s hard not to let the children take all your energy so that none is left for your hero. The truth is — he’ll be your hero long after the kids have grown too big to run between your legs and it’ll be you and he and what you’ll have is whatever energy you’ve put into him all those years prior. Make your deposits now.

  5. Heidi says:

    P.S. I gave you and your blog an award at my Austen blog. Thank you for all you do to lift me up.

  6. Bonnie Holt says:

    Thank you Mona! Thank you thank you. What a timely and sweet reminder for me this week. I’m sorry that I’ve been M.I.A. for awhile now. Life has thrown me some doosies the last month, but the sun is coming out. You are so adorable. What a lovely woman you are! Thank you again for reminding me of my power to uplift my own handsome hero who is fighting his own Goliaths.

    • mona says:

      Bonnie! I am SOOOOOOOOOO happy to hear from you! And am sorry the sun has been in hiding. Yes, I know My Hero borders on the over dramatic – but you obviously get the point – the “battle” is REAL to him.

  7. Gramee says:

    I have been very neglectful reading blogs..
    you would think i would keep up on the ones i love to read
    Today I remember why I love your blog so much.

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting on mine it means a lot
    and I love your analogy, yes I think as we age we discover we don’t need the mask to cover ourselves.. and it does feel so good..

  8. Debbi says:

    I’m so proud of Dale! I know how much this means to him! What a triumph especially after the transcript episode. This credential that certifies what you always knew and what he wanted to be so – that when he really wants something, he CAN make it happen – that he is not merely comfortable with a group of people he admires, but he is one of them.

    He is taking his princess to a far away land to show her the world – to delight in its wonders together – this he earned with so many years of investing his talents, wit, study and determination – he lays it as a dragon’s head at his fair maiden’s feet – revel in it together.

    Much love,
    Debbi

  9. Bob Walker says:

    I slayed my dragon last spring. Very similar to Dale’s experience but the feedback was immediate with each test. I’ve been in IT since before it was called IT (since before Microsoft was incorporated, actually). I’ve been through a handful of operating systems and I don’t even remember how many applications over the past 26 years. I was always so busy earning the money and doing the work that I never took the time to document what I know.

    Two years ago I was suddenly out of work and no one wanted to hire “the old guy with zero certifications who probably only THINKS he knows IT.” (OK, no one actually said that, but I was left with that impression over and over.) Somehow I landed my current job and they allowed me to attend a seven day certification boot camp where I crammed for and took nine major Microsoft certification tests. I went from a nothing to a “Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer” and then on t a “Microsoft Certified Information Technology Professional: Enterprise Administrator.”

    I want to publicly acknowledge that it was my wife’s faith and encouragement on the other end of the daily (or more) phone calls that kept me going as I studied in a lonely hotel room somewhere in Texas. I am certain that with a less supportive and encouraging wife I would have missed the mark. I’ve been told that what I did was equivalent to sitting for the Bar exam.

    Women, Mona is spot on with this article. Your unconditional support and cheer leading makes an unmeasurable yet unmistakable difference. Cheer on, even when you think you’ve got nothing left to give. We don’t need all that much, but we need it to be sincere and loving. It really works.

    • mona says:

      Bob: Thank you so much for the male testimonial as to the truth of these things!!! Dani is your heroine, isn’t she?!!

  10. Mother Smith says:

    I’d like to talk about my “Hero” in my life…One never knows…how BRAVE or how FAITHFUL one will be when FACED with a LIFE THREATENING CHALLENGE…We all would like to believe, we would RISE UP to ANY TEST IN THIS LIFE, for we know…”we are to be tried and tested in ALL THINGS”…

    I have witnessed first hand…what my husband is being refined into…FOUR months ago…he was diagnosed with STAGE 4 Lymphoma…This is ONE of the experiences that came after much prayer of the desire in his heart beginning in 2008…to INCREASE HIS FAITH and WANTED a CHANGED HEART – a heart filled with CHARITY…GRATITUDE was thrown in along the way….

    We never know…how Father will answer those requests, but, he did turn to me and apologized upfront two years ago…when he began that quest…What we have experienced these past two years…has been in HONOR of his DESIRE TO CHANGE…(smile)

    The FIRST TWO MONTHS, we tried to help Garvin’s condition, by changing his diet…We cleansed him out…He only ate RAW FOODS and HERBS…and lost a considerable amount of weight…To date, he has lost “64″ pounds…but, this amount came, also, due to the DECISION to add CHEMO these last 2 months…We saw that we could not lick this challenge on a raw food diet alone…When we saw his “pet scan” his INSIDES lit up like a Christmas Tree…His cancer was so far advanced…It was in his bone marrow…and was traveling down his arms and legs…on top of all the lymph nodes filled with cancer…

    But, this does not make him a “hero”…It is how he has been living his life…IN SPITE of how he feels and the INCREDIBLE FATIGUE he feels after his chemo treatments…

    He is a college professor and teaches ECONOMICS…Before and after his treatments…he would still shows up for his classes…He is a very ANIMATED TEACHER…but, on some days he would apologize to his students…and instead of STANDING to teach…he would need to sit down…His students understanding his situation…

    On top of that…we began to MOVE into our new home here in MONTANA…after 21 years living in Florida…We had acquired much…We filled up “3″ storage units full of our belongings…He and our “17″ year old son…have slowly MOVED our belongings…We have gone from “3″ units to “2″…but, we hope to complete the MOVE in the next few months…depending on his strength…We have had some help with BIG THINGS, but, have decided we can only go so fast…so we opt to move our things a few boxes at a time…

    But, on top of all that….he was called to be the WARD MISSION LEADER AFTER he was diagnosed…Our Bishop was fully aware of his condition…but, he felt…STRONGLY that Garvin was to be our Ward’s Mission Leader…Well, Garvin, knows what it means to LEAD…He goes out with the missionaries IN SPITE of how he feels…Attends all his meetings…in SPITE of how he feels…

    He has NEVER COMPLAINED about his current situation…His LOVE OF GOD has become VERY TENDER…His understanding of GOSPEL principles has intensified…and often brings him to tears…

    He recognizes his strength is not of his own making…but, the LOVE of GOD…everyone who prays for him…and has fasted for him…Here is his answer to CHARITY…the EXAMPLES of what OTHERS have done in his behalf…

    I hope I have expressed simply…why…Garvin, my husband, has become a “hero”… in nature to me…

    • mona says:

      Mother Smith: There are heroes and there are SUPER HEROES. Garvin is a SUPER HERO. He has always been one I think, so I can hardly imagine what’s become of him NOW through all of this. You two have blessed so many through your untiring love, service, and example for years and years and years. Isn’t it amazing how God continues to expand our circle of influence — ever wider — as we grow ever wiser. Thank you for sharing so much detail of your journey in faith with all of us. You are in our constant prayers.

  11. Mattye says:

    You really hit that right on. I love the analogy. I have a pretty great hero too.

  12. Bri Z says:

    Today Grant and I attended my cousin’s wedding and reception. As we watched them embark on a journey that we took the first steps of not so long ago ourselves, we began to reflect on the last two years. Marriage requires a heroic team effort. And it’s true there is no I in team — we have to work tirelessly to eradicate selfishness and give ourselves over to the other.

    Because we’re both in school full time, both working part time, both trying to keep up with the whirlwind that seems to blow through our home weekly, and both supporting each other in our “individual” endeavors (though everything we do on our own is for the team), we have to be each other’s heroes. Sometimes one is cheerleader; sometimes another. We are often tag-team dragon slayers. We both understand how important our individual goals and dreams are to the overall benefit of the team. I’m glad we have different strengths and weaknesses and that there’s two of us so that one is down, the other one can lift.

    I count my blessings for a husband who works so hard, has such big dreams, and can laugh his way through the murkiest swamp because he has a vision of the castle that lay just beyond the fog. He is a hero and I’m proud to be the heroine at his side.

  13. Sara Lyn says:

    I love hearing women talk about their husbands and how proud they are of them. Thank you for this post!! And thanks for your compliments. I don’t have so much a fantastic marriage as a fantastic husband who makes me look good. :) I’m the luckiest girl and I know it.

  14. Susan says:

    Just last night I had the impression to journal my feelings about my husband. He has been in NM for over 3 months as the rest of the family has been here(he was transferred with his job). We are moving there after my oldest graduates but the time without him has been really hard on both me and the boys. I wrote about 4 pages- my feelings of appreciation of him and all he does for me and the family. I wrote how proud I was of him as he serves our country with honesty and integrity. I wrote about my love for him and how much I miss him. I have told him countless times over these past few months but I felt I needed to write it down so it was documented. He is my hero on so many different levels and in so mnay different areas. Thanks for your post.

  15. Sue Simper says:

    Congrats, Dale! We’re always amazed at his ability to master anything he tries – perfection just runs through his veins, I guess.

    When Evan comes home with raises, little bonuses, gift cards, etc from his boss (who loves him and thinks he’s brilliant) my heart really swells with admiration and love. I don’t get to see all the great things he accomplishes at work everyday, and getting glimpses of it is exciting. It’s fun to watch each other grow to new heights!

  16. marzee says:

    Admiration is key. It means so much to them, to know that they are battling Goliaths, slaying Dragons, and bringing home the bacon.

    Congratulations to both of you! Overcoming such obstacles and reveling in triumphs truly are team productions. I know I wouldn’t be the woman I am without my man, and I think he agrees that he wouldn’t be the man he is without me. We’re purposefully intended companions.

  17. Emily says:

    Just last night my hero saved me from a dragon (well a slug actually) on the kitchen floor, even after he had already retired to the bedroom for the evening. He found himself lost in throws of admiration and kisses afterward.

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