Forever Backwards Forever Forwards Forever Now
A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition. ~Clare Whiting
Dear Man I Married,
Remember that quote and our discussion about how true it is? How every kiss holds the years? How we share every sorrow, every joy, every momentous occasion, and every tiny hour through a kiss?
Last night I pointed out the clock approaching midnight and said, “Come on – tomorrow’s our anniversary. we gotta get to bed before midnight — or we might turn into -”
Your guess sounded hopeful. I suppose it might be fun to be eighteen with you again. To have big dreams and small bodies. But I wouldn’t want to start from scratch, would you? What about that day we chucked every responsibility and walked through downtown Provo in the rain? Would we lose that if we turned back the clock? What about birth days, would they still be there? all four of the ones WE put on the human calendar? How about the day the neurologist told us we had a child with severe lifetime disabilities? or the day we qualified for our first house? or the one when we sat in the car holding an acceptance letter from HTE after months of unemployment and cried? Would we still have those and thousands of others equally ordinary and equally poignant?
Let’s stay fifty-one and fifty-two (did I get it right? I’ll catch up with you next month and promptly forget again how old I am.) Let’s stay silver and let’s stay pudgy and let’s stay crinkled and soft in the heart. I know we can’t swing dance the way we used to, and I know I’ll never watch you play ball from the bleachers again, but at least now we can afford to go the Barbican in London to see the “Messiah” on our anniversary and not worry if the babysitter needs to be home at a certain hour or if the car will turn on in the morning. At least now we have these gorgeous, accomplished people who are multiplying and making something of themselves, instead of getting caught between our legs and demanding to be picked up. At least now that life has slowed down we can sleep in and stay up late and…
Hey! It’s our anniversary! Seven hours into it and you are still asleep! Time is getting away! – remember that doctor’s appointment this morning, and the vacuuming still to be done and the packing before we fly home tomorrow and that darn last Christmas present to be shopped for. Are you sure you’re up to the concert tonight? After all, you just had shoulder surgery eleven days ago. I know, I know, nothing will keep you from sitting in the seat you bought last spring. And nothing will keep me from sitting beside you.
Which reminds me…remember the day thirty-three years ago when we sat in a little yellow car that sputtered when you turned it on and you turned to me and said, “ready?” and I nodded and we drove away and everyone waved and cried and – did they throw rice? I can’t remember.
Maybe if you kiss me…it will all come back.
Happy Anniversary my darling.
Hint of Romance
Anniversaries: count them and make them count.